I am departing from what is my standard beginning to every goal setting session I have. I am also departing, only briefly, from my core belief of positivity and life.
I am using this post and this forum as an exercise in exorcising the trials, tribulations, and adversities of this past 6 months. As much as I believe in not feeding these, and have tried to fully immerse myself in Eckhart Tolle and Wayne Dyer’s views of ego, I feel that these past adversities need to be illuminated so that I can put them away rather than revisiting them, as if they were saved on my DVR to re-watch over and over!
Please understand that I am not looking for sympathy or attention either negative or positive (I do not want to be an attention whore); I am hoping to put this information more than on to paper (which I have done) but release it into the universe.
My job changed dramatically at the beginning of the year. The job I have done for nine years made a 180 degree turn. My salaried position became comp and commission based, which means that my base pay dropped to about half of what it was.
There is definitely a learning curve to this new world. Not that it’s brand new, just different. There is a certain amount of time and stress that goes along with learning.
My father, who had a massive stroke December 26, 2012, has had several infections this year. Let me digress from the past 6 months for a minute. His stroke changed his life, my mother’s life, my siblings’ lives, my life, and the lives of everyone who knows him. The recent infections caused him pain, caused heartbreak for my mom, and brought his mortality closer to home.
Daughter Number 3 developed some painful bumps on the back of her head. Upon taking her to our primary care physician (who told my 12 year old “we always need to consider the ‘c’ word”) in addition to scaring the pants off of us and raising our stress levels started us on a month long journey to specialists.
In May my mother retired. This was not an adversity, I was thrilled! She had been talking about retiring for years, but I believe she put it off after my dad’s stroke to keep her mind occupied. I had promised her that I would re-do some rooms in her house before she retired and thought that I had a little more time. She made the decision about 3 weeks before she was going to retire. I took a week off to work on smoothing out some walls (compound and sand) and repaint. I was going to re-do the family room and her bedroom (which she has not slept in since dad’s stroke). Let me give a little backstory to my parents house, the home I grew up in. Their house is a large 2-story home with a large kitchen / dining room, living room, family room, music room, laundry room, 2 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms. The original house was a 2-room frame house with a loft. It was added onto for the past 100 years or better. My dad did a great deal of the work himself, learning as he went. As with any house, it has shifted quite a bit since the original work was done and was in need of re-doing. Additionally, upon hearing that my mother was retiring, her sister called me and decided she was going to come surprise my mother for her retirement. My mother is not a fan of surprises. My mother is not a fan of parties. So, I came up with the idea to invite my 3 siblings and their spouses and children to my mother’s house for a combination Mother’s Day / Retirement party. I knew that my deadline for the re-do was that Sunday. I was under the gun. On day one of the remodel I fell off of the ladder and twisted my ankle and then in my stupor tripped over an iron doorstop and broke my pinky toe. No time to stop, I kept going.
I took a very small break the Saturday before Mother’s Day to attend a graduation party for 2 of my nephews!
I immediately went back to work on the family room, which I knew was much more important to get done, as we would need that room on Mother’s Day. During the final stages of painting I bumped into a hutch that I had left in the room to paint. In an effort to keep the top from toppling off, I reached my arm underneath and behind, which did lessen the impact of the furniture on the floor and wall. It also managed to trap my arm between the top and bottom pieces. My 2 youngest daughters were able to lift the top off and call out to my mother who wanted to take me to the ER, because she was sure I broke my wrist. I did let her put an icepack on my wrist. I got the room done!
The following Tuesday, my youngest daughter informed me she didn’t feel well. She had a fever and lethargy. I kept vigilant watch on her through the night. The fever responded moderately to meds and soaking in the tub. The following night she woke me because she felt worse. Her temperature was 104.5. I woke the Hubs and we put her in the tub and gave her some fever reducer. I spent the rest of the night sponging her forehead and monitoring her temperature. By morning her fever had dropped to 100. Still, it was a rough (and scary) night.
The end of May we got a call from the hubs cousin. His grandma had fallen and was hospitalized. She had bumped her head and had some broken ribs and clavicle. She was not doing very well.
June 4 – Heavy thunderstorms hit the area. Torrential downpours and high winds combined with severe lightning. It’s been a rainy spring, but this storm was intense. In fact, at about 3:30 in the morning my doorbell chimed. I ran to the door to see my oldest brother and his oldest son standing there in the rain. My immediate thought went to my parents. My brother must have known by the look on my face, and quickly assured me everyone was fine. He let me know that the creek that runs through our little Kansas town of 1100 was expected to flood. 10 years ago the creek flooded and we were not warned in time. We lost 50% of our belongings and the flood damaged 70% of our home.
June 5 – I had an 8 am appointment that was very important at my office. I held my appointment and called the hubs. He said that he and the girls had been very carefully and methodically taking things out of his office in the basement and relocating them to a higher level of our home. I drove the 30 minutes home and began the same process for our bedroom, which is also in the basement. We spent the next several hours emptying out those rooms. I tripped carrying boxes up the stairs (barefoot) and injured my foot. I took a couple of minutes to tape my toes and the ball of my foot and got back to work. With help we were able to remove all of our belongings to the higher levels of our home. I sent the two youngest girls to my brother’s house (2 blocks south on the same street I live on). The hubs, Daughter Number 2 and I continued securing outdoor items as the water was rising up past knee level. We secured our dogs and rabbit, and realized our 2 cats were nowhere to be found. By the time we felt we had secured everything we could Daughter and I walked through the thigh high flooded street down to my brother’s. The current was pretty strong so it was slow going. We made it! I was able to put my eyes on my daughters and see that they were safe. The girls and I spent the night at my mother’s house; the hubs stayed home to take care of the drain, monitor the level of water inside and outside of the house, and be there for any problems that might arise. When we were able to return home I discovered that there was minimal flooding in one main floor room, the family room, and all of the basement rooms.
June 14 – The hubs got a phone call from his mom that her mother was being transported to the ER with stroke like symptoms.
While waiting for a call back to hear how his grandma was doing the phone rang, and it was my mother letting me know that my grandma (my dad’s mom) had passed away earlier that day.
Whew. I already feel better.
Thank you for allowing me to share, in writing, my trials. I am ready to put all of that behind me and move forward with my life, my journey, my goals, and my dreams!
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” ~ Napoleon Hill